Coping with a Stormy Marriage (and Children)
Sometimes, life will not go as we planned it to be, and we may have to face tough decisions from time to time. For example, while you’re doing everything in your power to make your marriage work, that is no guarantee it will. These things are just hard – if at all possible – for us to control. If your marriage has begun to cause you misery, then you have to take stock of it. Whether or not you should get divorced is a critical decision, especially if you have kids. Before you actually decide, here are issues to take into account:
Talk to your spouse.
You may feel utterly uncomfortable talking to your spouse, but it’s a must. Initiate an adult and relaxed conversation regarding your available options and how you can make your marriage better.
Don’t lie to yourself.
Be honest to yourself and you can ensure that whatever you are fighting for can actually change things for the better. Much of this depends on where your spouse half is coming from with his own thoughts and emotions. If he seems quite interested to save your relationship, then there is huge hope for your marriage.
Don’t stop trying.
It is highly advised that you continue trying and don’t give up unless you totally can’t swallow it anymore. Look for new ways to make your marriage better – for example, talk to a counselor. You could unveil a deeply rooted issue and finally put it to rest. Not talking about your feelings only makes it impossible to repair your marriage.
Decide and stand by your decision.
At a particular point, you will have to make that decision, whatever it is, and go with it. Make sure that you are irrevocably comfortable with that decision, and stick to it. Divorce is painful, but even more so is going back and forth with your spouse as your children are watching. It will be very difficult, but if you honestly think divorce is the best option, be brave enough to admit it and to stand by it.
Talk to your children on their level.
Divorce can take a big toll on kids, especially if they are adjusting to other changes in their own lives too. What you can do is to be talk to them in a language they can comprehend. If you intend to share custody, create a routine that will cause them the least trouble. At any rate, give them reassurance that whatever happens, they are loved by both their parents.
It’s pretty heart-wrenching to be going through a divorce or problematic marriage, but you should keep positive and concentrate on all the good things you presently have in your life. Look to the future and be strong along the way; you can only come out stronger and wiser in the end.